Stop The Homework Fights
By Mark and Mira Halpert, Sat Dec 10th
Jen had reached her wit's end. After a long day at work, sheused to look forward to coming home and spending time with herkids, even if it was just the time in the car on the way tosoccer practice. Lately, homework fights had killed any"quality" out of the quality time they spent together. Jen'solder daughter, Katie, had always had an easy time with school.She never had to be nagged to do her homework, and often didn'teven need any help with it. Her younger brother Jeff, on theother hand, avoided homework like the plague. Jen knew Jeff was smart- he could talk your head off about theiguana he saw at the zoo- but when it came to reading, he justcouldn't do it. Jen would sit with her son for hours doinghomework that should have taken 20 to 30 minutes. Spelling waseven worse. They would study his spelling words until he couldrecite them all by heart. The next day Jeff came home in tearsholding the spelling test, of the 10 words, he had only spelledfive right. The harder Jen tried to push him to do his homework,the more upset he got with himself and with her. I wish Jen's experience was a unique one, but it's not. Hundredsof parents come through our website everyday, often with a verysimilar experience. The top seven homework challenges parentsshare are:
1- Students do not bring home the right books 2- Homework assignments are either not written down or areincorrectly or incompletely written down and/or notes areincomplete. 3- Parents have to re-teach what was covered in class 4- Child was too embarrassed to ask teacher for help withsomething they didn't understand 5- Child does not understand what they are reading - thishappens both when they have a reading assignment and must answerquestions and with math word problems 6- One or both of you lose it when doing homework and once againhomework turns into stress-work 7- All these problems worsen as the child gets older and thework gets harder Let's walk through each one and talk about some answers. 1. Not Bringing Home the Right Books This seems pretty basic, but it's also a common problem. If thestudent is in public school, the solution is partially to have a504 Plan or an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) that eithercalls for: · The teacher or a buddy checking to make sure the student hasbrought home the right books or · Having a second set of books at home It is important for parents to know that if a child has ADHD,attention deficit with or without hyperactivity,
and thissignificantly impacts their academic performance, the studentshould qualify for an IEP. Parents need to realize that IEPs are written contracts, butthey are rarely followed - if the teachers have agreed to dosomething work collaboratively with them to set up a system thatworks - first work with the teacher and go up the ladder to makesure you get the right help. If the student is in private school, then any accommodations areat the private school's discretion - they may be moreunderstanding than you might expect - these problems occur morefrequently than you might think. (If someone at the school says"We don't have a special program for children like this"-youmight remind them that Einstein, Edison and Disney were "likethis" and that with some minor changes they could be quitesuccessful, thank-you! The key is to work with your child to make sure they do bringthe right stuff home more often and that you have a back-upsystem if that fails - (e.g. having a friend's phone number).Remember- reward for what WAS done-not punish for what was NOTbrought home. "You did it AGAIN!" is not a way to effectpositive change. Try- "You brought your math, but next time whatdo you have to do to remember all of your books?" See whatsuggestions THEY come up with. 2. Not copying down the right assignment Sixty percent of the students we see have vision related issuesthat often make it difficult for them to copy assignments offthe board. If the student takes extra time to copy information,there is an excellent chance they are missing what the teacherstry to cover in class - again accommodations are called for.Students often have problems taking notes while the teacher istalking and we often recommend students either get the notesfrom the teacher or another student. Schools are often reluctant to give these accommodations,because they want the child to improve this skill. Onecompromise solution we have found helpful, is for the student tobe required to try and copy assignments during the time the restof the class is doing so, and then for the teacher to make surethe student has the assignment correctly written down before thestudent goes home. For notes, it is very important for thestudent to get a copy of these notes; otherwise, they'll becompletely lost when doing homework and when studying for tests. 3. Re-teaching what your child should have learned at School When a student is unable to understand what the teacher issaying in class, it could either be due to hearing, attentionand/or learning issues. While auditory issues are often theschool's diagnosis, we have often found significant improvementsonce the attention and learning issues are addressed. We urgeparents to have a thorough assessment so the real issues can beidentified and addressed. 4. Child was too intimidated to ask for help. Being too intimidated to ask questions is a problem for 90% ofour students. The best solutions we have found are to eitherhave the teacher ask easy questions to build the student'sconfidence and to develop a nonverbal communication that allowsthe student to indicate when they know the answer. We've also found it very helpful to set goals with the studentsto ask more questions, because asking questions requires them topay attention and this in turn gets homework done faster andbetter. 5. Child has problem comprehending what they are reading We talk more in depth about reading comprehension in a separatearticle at www.3dlearner.com/reading. As Dr. Linda Silvermansays in her book "Upside Down Brilliance" it is important firstto address sight word vocabulary and pattern recognition beforephonics will work for these students. Before intervention, two options we've found that work best forthese students are to either get textbooks on tape through theRecording for Dyslexic and Blind www.rfbd.org for students withvision issues or dyslexia, or where parents read aloud withtheir child. 6. Reducing the Stress of Homework Students often take two to three times as much time to dohomework as other students. While learning, attention, and/orvision issues will often result in homework taking longer, we'veoften found GOLD students homework time can be cut by 25% to 40%when parents can just stay calm. Our challenge to parents is to ask you to stay calm for the nextweek when doing homework with your child, and to write us ane-mail at calm@3dlearner.com with your observations. Lastly, homework will get more difficult, take longer and createmore stress, unless the underlying vision, attention and/orreading comprehension issues are addressed. We stronglyencourage you to identify and address the issues as soon aspossible. About the author:Mira Halpert M.Ed. and Mark Halpert, Professional Speaker,provide educational programs, teacher in-services and parentempowerment presentations. They specialize in helping kidsstruggling with dyslexia. For a free learning survey on a childgo to www.3dlearner.com. They can be reached at 877-300-0105 |
