A Healthy Child Is More Than Skin And Bones
By Dr. Charles Sophy, Fri Dec 9th

Hurricane Katrina made landfall on August 29, 2005, carving apath of destruction which affected thousands of souls living inthe coastal regions of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama.Katrina did more than just damage buildings and businesses – ithas created a humanitarian crisis on a scale not seen in theUnited States since the Great Depression.

Over a million people, adults and children alike, have beendisplaced – their homes, gone. Their jobs, washed away by theravaging storm waters. With the horrors of the storm past them,they are faced with the task of rebuilding their homes and theirlives. My heart and prayers go out to all those affected byHurricane Katrina.

Rebuilding a life that has been shattered by a disaster can be adaunting task.

Physical needs are attended to first – food and shelter. Oncesecured, thoughts turn towards finding employment. Havingattended to the vital physical needs of our family, we mustfocus on the emotional factor.

Building strong and healthy children involves more than fillingtheir tummies with the right foods, giving them milk for healthybones and making sure they get enough sleep. Healthy childrenare built upon a strong foundation of self-esteem, resilienceand ego. Developing the internal building blocks is not easy butevery parent has the tools to ensure that they raisewell-rounded, secure and healthy children.

Your parental tasks begin the moment your child is born. It isyour duty from their first breath to foster an environment forhealthy development, not just physically, but emotionally andspiritually. Nurturing the internal building blocks from birthis the best way to ensure that your child develops a strongsense of self and the ability to cope with all of life’s joysand challenges. Begin early and continue for life. Your childwill always be your child – you can still teach them long afterthey stop needing you to kiss their booboos and hold them whilethey cry. Interact with your child; model good behavior, honortheir strengths – it is the only

way to ensure that your childis strong and healthy in all spectrums.

Let’s take a peek at 5-year old David:

David and his family have been re-located to Baton Rouge in thewake of Hurricane Katrina. He has a new home, a new school andnew class mates. He doesn’t know where his best friend, Charlie,is living now.

David’s mother is approached by one of the teachers when shepicks him up from his after-school program. David is having somedifficulty adjusting to his new environment and is displayingbehaviors that are disruptive to his peers: hitting, grabbing,and yelling. David’s parents have noted some of these behaviorsat home but not to the extent reported by his teachers.

On the way home, David’s mother asks about his day. David chatshappily about reading out loud in front of the class and scoringa goal in during gym class. He does not mention hisnegative behaviors, though he is aware that his teacheraddressed the issue with his mother. David’s mother does notpress him for full disclosure, opting to wait until dinner whenDavid’s father will be present to participate in the discussion.She plans to speak to David’s father privately before dinner toapprise him of the teacher’s comments.

At dinner, David’s father asks about his day – specifically hisafter school program. David begins to recount the events of hisday, again neglecting to mention anything about the after schoolprogram. David’s mother waits until he has finished sharing andgently prods David to speak about his behavior in theafter-school program. She tells David that she spoke with histeacher who is concerned that he is having a difficult time andseems very angry.

At first, David dismisses the conversation, claiming that theteacher overstated the episodes. He then begins to cry and statethat he is a bad person and that he hates himself. He continuesby stating that no one likes him and that he feels scared. Momand Dad wait until he calms down and begin a discussion with himto see if they could determine the origin of these feelings.David speaks of feeling scared and lonely in the new programwhich leads him to believe that something was wrong with himbecause nobody would play with him like they did at his oldschool.

David’s parents share some strategies for getting to know newpeople and reassure him that it takes time for others to get toknow him. They also help him see the strengths and positiveelements of himself that he can draw on when he feels scared andlonely. They encourage him to show these strengths to engageothers and to begin to build relationships without conflict. Momand Dad help David make a list of his strengths – his honesty,his smile, and his willingness to help others – and they placeit on the refrigerator for David to review as needed.

David’s parents help David to look inside himself for thestrengths that he needs to live a life that is secure and withminimal conflicts. It is important for all parents to help theirchildren through life’s difficulties by teaching them toidentify their talents and abilities and rely on them forstrength through troubling times.

Your role in nurturing a healthy child is strengthened byfollowing these guidelines:

1) Begin Early: Root the seeds of your child’s strength andself-reliance by addressing basic needs in a structured andconsistent manner designed to build trust.

2) Identify: Talk to your children to help them recognize thestrengths within themselves.

3) Assist and Support: Help your children to access theirstrengths in times of need to resolve internal and externalconflicts.

Teaching your child how to rely on his / her strengths is one ofthe most important lessons a parent can impart. Always ask forassistance when unsure of how to proceed.

About the author:Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for theLos Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services.He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills,California.

Dr. Sophy is the author of the “Keep ‘Em Off My Couch” blog andprovides real simple answers for solving life’s biggestproblems. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog athttp://drsophy.com.