Author Interview - Mommy Come Home
By Lisa M. Hendey, Fri Dec 9th

Author Interview: Mommy Come Home The New Trend to Tradition:Bringing Up Your Own Interview with Sandra Gillmore conducted byLisa Hendey

In her new book Mommy Come Home, author Sandra Gillmore stronglyadvocates the role of “full-time motherhood”. Some may disagreewith the book’s premise that mother should eschew career andstay home with children (in lieu of day care or even dad or arelative providing in home care). I found the value of this bookto be for readers who have chosen the “stay at home” route andare seeking support and encouragement in this decision. SandraGillmore shares a veteran’s experience and perspective and hasso many wonderful tips and suggestions to share. Women choosingto voluntarily walk away from careers to pursue the vocation ofmotherhood are often met with resistance, financial concerns anda lack of support. A new mother may find herself isolated anduncertain as she attempts to ascertain her new identity in life.Mommy Come Home is a great tool for women facing or consideringsuch transitions. Sandra Gillmore gives readers many pearls ofwisdom to aid them in the journey of parenthood.

LH: Sandra Gillmore, author of Mommy Come Home, thanks for yourtime and for participating in this Book Spotlight feature. Couldyou please tell our readers a little bit about your backgroundand your family?

As a single person, I worked in various office positions, andprayed for the Lord to send me a devoted Christian husband. Godpowerfully answered my prayers to the point that I wrote a songfor Dave entitled, "You are the Answer to My Prayers." Dave andI have been married for 20 years and we have been blessed withten children, ages 19 down to 1 year in age. We both shared thevision for a large family and grew into the homeschoollifestyle. Over the years we've opened our home to exchangestudents, foreign refugees, college renters and the mentallyill. Currently our quiver is full of our own family members! Ourchildren are very active in sports, music and scouts. I getinvolved with fundraisers and love to cheer them on in theiractivities. I enjoy singing for church which occasionallyincludes weddings and funerals. LH: Sandra, what is the mainmessage of Mommy Come Home and what prompted you to write thebook?

Mommy, Come Home is my love letter to all moms! I've heard youstress-out on the fields. I've seen you cry at churchfrom the pressure. You told me I was lucky I could stay home.I've tried to console you through the rat race. I've prayed foryou. But I never wanted to hurt your feelings. I never had thecourage to tell you what was on my heart through the HolySpirit's leading. The message of Mommy, Come Home is that God iscalling each mother to embrace her vocation to motherhood. Thisis your call that no one else can replace as God intended. (Noteven grandma or daddy.) You have been given special gifts toshare with your children in a most generous way. This world isnot family-centered. The world wants to pull you away and makeyou too busy to effectively mother your children. Pictureyourself ordering your favorite dessert in a restaurant only tohave the waiter bring you one small bite! Wouldn't you wantmore? 'But it's the highest quality of this dessert on themarket, 'the waiter tells you. Our children want and need more -not more stuff - more of our time. There is a way out of thismadness. You have a choice. LH: For families who have becomereliant upon two incomes, can you offer some creativesuggestions to help ease the financial transition when Momdecides to stay home full time with the children. Byeliminating, in large part, the extraneous expenses of workingoutside the home (such as more gas, wear and tear on yourvehicles, or even the need for an additional vehicle, businessattire, fast food, childcare) and adding an enormous tool calledflexibility to your schedule, you will be set up for a new wayof thinking and spending. The focus is on saving instead ofearning. Simplicity is the key. Try asking yourself, 'Is this aneed or a want?' whether it's a new home, car or a toothbrush.(i.e.: do you really need the $5 variety or will the 88 centversion do the job?) Try drinking filtered water (from your ownfilter if possible.) Milk, juice

and soda are quite costly anddon't offer much in the way of nutrition. Good quality vitaminscan prevent a lot of expensive and time-consuming trips to thedoctor. Consider shopping at various discount stores and makehome-made cooking a top priority. Nothing has to be fancy.Instead of buying ingredients for a recipe, just buy whatever ison sale and then cook accordingly when you get home. If we needfresh produce, for example, I come home with whatever fruit ison sale for that week. This is a great way to keep more varietyin your kitchen too. For vacations, state and national parks area treasure to behold. If you bring your own food you've alreadysaved a bundle of money. Just pack the cooler(s) and you canmake great day trips or camp, or even rent a housekeeping cabin.It's incredibly less expensive than motels and amusement parks.And what could be more exciting than exploring 'God'splayground?' For other entertainment, don't forget the library.Many libraries offer free concerts and other entertainment.Also, local museums and zoos almost always offer a familymembership. This is usually a wonderful bargain for a family.Make use of this and you won't fall prey to the lure of theexpensive entertainment industry, which is usually full ofnegative messages that conflict with our Christian faith anyway.Don't be afraid to accept hand-me-downs, shop at thrift shops orgarage sales for clothes or other items. There are some greatdiscount stores around too if you make it a point to scout themout. I personally don't enjoy shopping because it is sotime-consuming. However, I make a point to shop duringlow-traffic times and that makes a huge difference. It's theflexibility factor that will prevent you from feeling rushed allthe time and missing out on bargains. LH: Many "Stay at home"moms feel isolated and lonely. What proactive steps can theytake to help themselves overcome these feelings?

Satan loves Christians to become isolated. Then he can trap youinto thinking 'no one understands me,' etc. Don't even give hima chance! REACH OUT! Whether you are new to a community or havejust been pulled out of a huge social circle in order to stayhome, you simply must find ways to be involved. For example, Ihave hosted lady's Bible studies and support groups just bylisting an ad in our church bulletin. Sometimes only one mom hascalled - but that was all I needed to make a new friend at thetime. Then it would grow. You can join a group like I started,or find a local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers,) La Leche League(breastfeeding support group,) or volunteer for something atchurch that may be just a few hours per month. Read your localnewspaper; look on the internet for local church or communityactivities. Get involved in politics. You may be nervous atfirst but reaching out is essential and will bring you manyblessings in new friendships. But remember that God and familycome first. We don't need to be supermoms and burn ourselvesout. But we definitely need to be supported by and supportive toother moms and people in general. LH: What role has yourChristian faith played in your decisions to be home full timeand to homeschool your children?

…so that they (the older women) may train younger women to lovetheir husbands and children, to be sensible, chaste, busy athome…Titus 2:3-5 (New American Bible)

I think the Lord says in His word that he prefers mothers to bebusy at home. Other versions of the Word say 'Keeper of thehome' or 'good homemakers.' The decision for me to stay homecame when my husband and I became engaged. He felt very stronglythat my role in the home was essential for a strong family totake hold. He felt that God would bless us if we honored him bythis devotion to the mother's role. We both loved the prospectof having a large family and I couldn't see the point of bearinga child and giving birth only to leave the child entrusted tosomeone else's care. It didn't make sense. The entire pregnancyis a bonding experience for an important purpose. It is abeautiful beginning to a lifelong relationship with your child.Although we do not currently homeschool all of our children, Ido believe home schooling gives us the most generous opportunityto fully instill our values into our children's hearts andminds. Homeschooling was still a relatively new idea when westarted about 11 years ago. Dave had close friends he admiredwho homeschooled their children. I thought it all sounded verystrange at first. Another family took our advice to home school(even though we didn't do it yet!) and we were amazed at howintimately peaceful and joyful their home had become sincestarting.) Then we attended a large home school convention andit was very evident that these hundreds of families werebringing up their children to serve the Lord in a verypowerfully practical way. It is more than just an educationalmovement. It is a way to bond with your children; to have thetime and flexibility to demonstrate the faith on a daily basis.And for those naysayers who think the home is not 'real world',I say, 'What is real within our families becomes real within ourworld." Currently we have three high schoolers in the publicschool system who are thriving with prayer clubs andevangelizing when opportunity arises. We home school our fourmiddle children and two of them also attend a church preschoolthree mornings a week for 3 hours a day. Our toddler is alsohome full-time. LH: Congratulations of the publication of this,your first book! What a tremendous accomplishment! Are youcurrently working on any new writing or creative projects? Thankyou so much. It has been truly exciting to watch the Lord opendoors on what otherwise would seem impossible or just plainridiculous. I have felt called to write a book about specialneeds families. We have not been blessed with a special needschild, but I have a friend who is legally blind and the motherof nine children. Her family includes two sets of twins, oneautistic child, one nearly deaf child, and four vision-impairedchildren. The book will be about her and some other familiesthat share their experiences and faith-growth through theirspecial needs situations. LH: What resources can you recommendfor new moms? I highly recommend 'Family Foundations,' apublication of the Couple to Couple League.(http://www.ccli.org/) So many moms are told that the number onepriority after giving birth should be birth-control. I dobelieve in child-spacing but so often mothers are discouragedfrom having more than two children these days, the 'acceptednorm.' If we truly open our hearts to another child, we havemore reason to want to stay home because more souls aredepending on us. We also are being more open to our husband,accepting both the potential for life and the pleasure of themarriage act. This method of 'natural family planning'automatically builds mutual respect and self-giving in themarriage, which is so much-needed today.

Catholic Familyland (http://www.familyland.org/Home.htm)- anawesome family vacation/retreat experience, an apostolatedevoted to teaching the true faith by way of books, tapes andvideos from top authorities such as Cardinal Arinze, Pope JohnPaul II, Scott Hahn, Mother Teresa, etc. In addition, they havetheir own TV network which is on a satellite with many otherChristian stations and costs only $11.99 per month. We love thisplace. I can't say enough good about it. Focus on the Family(www.family.org) is a wonderful resource for all sorts ofparenting tips. And don't forget the Bible. It's full ofproverbs and other parental advice for the finding. LH: Thankyou again Sandra for your time and for sharing your book. Arethere any closing thoughts you'd like to offer?

The revival doesn't begin only at church. It begins in the home.Home is not an escape from the world. It's a foundation to buildthe values of our faith. Then we must share that faith with theworld. One family at a time. Thank you, Lisa for thisopportunity to share from my heart to other moms. I pray thebook will be used as an instrument of hope and healing to everyfamily's mother that reads it. For more information or to orderMommy Come Home visithttp://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1594675627/digitalcropper-20

Copyright 2004 Lisa M. Hendey

About the author:Lisa M. Hendey is a mother of two sons, webmaster of numerousweb sites, (including http://www.digitalcropper.comhttp://www.christincoloring.com, http://www.catholicmom.com) andan avid reader.